tlctestprep.com - College Admission, SAT, and ACT Essay Writing Assistance

Watch Dr. John Tierney work with one of his students on SAT and college admission essay writing at http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r--aPDshD0U

Introduction

I very much enjoy assisting students to craft college admission, SAT, and ACT essays. When I review students’ essays, I never change their voice, but I typically offer some edits. When I return an essay, I say, “Here are edits to the essay you sent me. Remember I’m never offended in the least if you don’t “buy” some or all of them.” I have edited a plethora of student essays, and students do “buy” my edits.

College Admission Essay Assistance

College admission officials do put a lot of stock in students’ GPAs and college admission test scores. However, they also realize that they get a good sense of applying students’ personal qualities, talents, accomplishments, contributions, and experiences by a careful read of their college admission essays. I have thoroughly enjoyed assisting hundreds of high seniors in their crafting of college admission essays. Students may want me to assist them to do the same.

SAT and ACT Essay Writing Assistance

A score of eight on a SAT essay is neutral. For every score point above eight, a student improves his or her SAT writing scaled score twenty or thirty points. Conversely, a score of seven lowers a student’s SAT writing scaled score twenty points. Why not, then, send me a practice SAT essay or two? I’ll score it, make changes to it, and send you my amended version. I’ll do the same for ACT essays that you send me. If a student receives an ACT English score of 34 and receives an essay score of nine, that student will receive an ACT English/writing of 31. The ACT essay, then, also influences the ACT English/writing score greatly. You can see me suggesting to a student how he might tackle SAT and college admission essay writing by going to the you tube address mentioned at the top of this page.

Contacting John W. Tierney, Ph.D.

If you would like me to review an essay that you have written and suggest to you how it might be improved, email it to me at This e-mail address is being protected from spam bots, you need JavaScript enabled to view it I’ll let you know the fee I’ll charge you for reviewing your essay and the way you can pay me for the service I’ll provide you.

I typically examine an essay seven or eight times before I return it to a student who has entered into an editing contract with me. Remember for every revised SAT practice essay I return to you, I’ll also send you my SAT Test Taking Tips, and for every revised practice ACT essay I return to you, I’ll send you my ACT Test Taking Tips at no charge.

Sample Essays

What follows is a common application essay that a student sent me and the edits I made to it, a student’s original practice SAT essay and the edits that I made to it, and my response to a SAT writing prompt and an ACT writing prompt.

Original Student Common Application Essay

A pretty sizeable portion of my summer before senior year was spent interning. Interning is basically working, with out pay; so the incentive is you want to do it. I wanted it: to work hard, to be accomplished.

I was interning, for the second time, at the Museum of Contemporary Art in San Diego. I was helping workers set up for the museum’s newest and biggest star studded gritty street art exhibit, “Viva La Rvolucion”, “Viva” for short. However you judge the museum: sell- out, non-art, or whatever, this, and I mean what I viewed, was quite impressive, even for the non-believers.

After a few days of work, I decided to join the photography, videography, and all around documentarian group. Mainly because that’s what I love to do. After a few more days I got promoted to be in charge of all video-based documentation. I was feeling quite accomplished already; however it hadn’t even begun.

With all the leisure-based work at the start like sitting in a car watching, I hadn’t really experienced hard work on the museum spectrum yet. That was, until I found myself battling the clock to find artists. The problem with my job was I had to find the artists in-work, not pre-work, or post-work, but actually working. This was quite a dilemma seeing as how artists, and artsy types, don’t normally conform to things such as schedules. As I was saying, I was battling the clock. Os Gemeos, a Mexican based art collective, were completing a mural on the side of a prominent mall in downtown San Diego. It was me, my camera, and my tripod, and I had to get a shot of this. But the work was being completed seven stories up, they had been using a cherry picker! Luckily there existed an outdoor stairwell near the parking lot, and using a 250mm lens, I was able to scope it.

The pictures and videos I took of Os Gemeos are still hanging and playing the loop in the museum right now. Soon to be decommissioned following the exhibition’s closing in January, but it was still quite a summer.

Student Common Application Essay Revised

Last summer, a pretty sizable portion of my time was spent interning. Interning is basically working without pay, and so it's imperative that individuals, contemplating doing one, really want to do what's expected of them. Otherwise, they won't put their hearts and souls into their work. I was really committed to do well the internship I agreed to do before my senior year began.

I interned at the Museum of Contemporary Art in San Diego last summer for the second time. I assisted workers to set up the museum's newest and biggest star studded gritty street art exhibit, "Viva La Revolucion," "Viva" for short. I admired museum officials for agreeing to feature the exhibit because what they were doing was somewhat controversial. As a result, they were taking a chance on getting a goodly number of attendees. Some would go so far as to brand what they had signed on to do as non-art. What I viewed was quite impressive. I would even venture to say that a lot of non-believers, who took the time to attend the exhibit, would agree with me.

After a few days of work, I decided to join the photography, videography, and all- around documentary group mainly because I love to do all three. Because I rolled up my sleeves and exerted great effort, I got promoted to be in charge of all video-based documentation. That promotion made me very proud.

I had to line up artists. I found myself battling the clock to do that task. Why? I had to find artists in-work, not pre-work, or post-work, but actually working. This proved to be quite a chore because artists and artsy types don't normally conform to nitty gritty tasks, such as following schedules. Let me cite an example to illustrate how I got through my predicament.

Os Gemeos, a Mexican based art collective, were completing a mural on the side of a prominent mall in downtown San Diego. It fell to me, my camera, and my tripod to get a shot of this. My task on the surface seems like it was nothing out of the ordinary to accomplish. However, the work was being completed seven stories up! The artists were using a cherry picker. Exploring the area near the mall, I found an outdoor stairwell as part of a parking lot. I climbed the stairwell and got myself positioned well enough to use a 250mm lens to get the photos I both needed and wanted. The pictures and videos I took of Os Gemeos are still hanging and playing on loop in the museum. They'll be decommissioned following the exhibition's closing in January, but my many fond memories of a summer internship that was quite productive because of the effort I put into it will never be decommisioned.

Original student essay for the following SAT writing prompt: Is it better for people to know everything they can about something before taking action, or should they act first and get more information later?

It is always better for people to know everything before taking action. Acting first and getting information later always leads to unexpected outcomes. Like the old saying goes, “think before you speak.”

In the movie The Mechanic, the quote, “victory loves preparation” was engraved on a pistol of an assassin. In this movie, one assassin kills another assassin by being more methodical than the other. The victor was able to think about what the other was going to do and plan accordingly.

There are never any downsides to preparation, but there can be consequences for being too brash. People should always try to know everything before taking action.

Revised student essay for the following SAT writing prompt: Is it better for people to know everything they can about something before taking action, or should they act first and get more information later?

It is always better for people to know everything before taking action. Acting first and getting information later always leads to unexpected outcomes, many of which can be deleterious. The adage, “think before you speak,” is no mere banal or hackneyed expression.

In the movie, The Mechanic, the quote, “victory loves preparation,” was engraved on a pistol of an assassin. In this movie, one assassin kills another assassin by being more methodical than the other. The victor was able to think about what the other was going to do and plan accordingly. Moralists would probably find it inconceivable to admit that a movie, like The Mechanic, had any let alone great social import, but one of its themes – haste makes waste – does.

Acting first and getting information later has a more rushed aspect leaving fewer options. Although acting this way may save time in the beginning, this results in fewer options in the end and undesired result. When going to the grocery store to buy ingredients for a recipe, one should have the recipe in mind first. Going to buy random ingredients and figuring out what to make later is pointless. Ingredients may not have been bought; one would have to make another trip to the store. With gas nearing $5.00 a gallon, I could see a lot of impulsive shoppers becoming a bit more compulsive, meaning that they’ll be spending more time compiling shopping lists before heading to grocery stores.

There are never any downsides to preparation, but there can be consequences for being too brash. People should always try to know everything before taking action. Well, maybe it’s unrealistic or even impossible to know everything before taking action, but it’s sagacious to discern a lot about the potential tentacles to an undertaking before embarking upon it.

My response to the following SAT writing prompt: Are photographs straightforward representations of real life, or are they artistic creations reflecting the photographer's point of view?

I would say that photos sometimes represent real life; at other times, they reflect a photographer’s point of view. As I make that statement, I remember a photo emailed to me by numerous colleagues during President George W. Bush’s first term in office.

President Bush is featured in a classroom, intently watching a little girl reading from a book. He has a copy of the book in his hands while listening only it is upside down. I learned a month after receiving this photo that it had been significantly altered. A clever photographer, obviously no big fan of President Bush, had turned the book he was holding upside down!

As I reflect further on the writing prompt I’m responding to, I’m reminded of two enduring philosophical conundrums: 1) Is objectivity (fact) more important than subjectivity (opinion)? and 2) Is what we do more important than how we do it?

I think good writing contains objective elements, meaning that a writer wants to tell it like it is. However, every writer, consciously or unconsciously, puts his or her spin or interpretation on what they are trying to present objectively. For example, the Warren Commission Report, which summarized the thorough investigation of President John F. Kennedy’s assassination, concluded that Lee Harvey Oswald acted alone in killing President Kennedy while writer/director Oliver Stone read the same report and made a very entertaining film, titled JFK, depicting fifty top political officials as co-conspirators responsible for President Kennedy’s demise.

In American jurisprudence, how we accomplish something is as important as what we accomplish or want to accomplish. In other words, the end does not justify the means.

In the movie, Memento, the protagonist has no capacity for short-term memory. He is on a mission to find his wife’s killer. The detective, handling his case, takes advantage of the protagonist’s mental predicament. The detective tells him time and time again that selected hardened criminals have killed his wife. The movie’s hero, then, kills these men but has no recollection of having done so. The detective accomplishes a personal goal or objective. He sees to it that brutish criminals are no longer menaces to society, but his method for accomplishing that goal could never be justified. How a photographer captures a scene is as important as depicting that scene, just as for all of us who put a premium on morality how we do something is as important as what we do.

My response to the following ACT writing prompt: Should teachers voice their opinions about society and politics, or is doing so a bad influence on students?

I believe teachers in private schools have more license to express their opinions about society and politics than public school teachers because they more than likely would be expected to reflect the sentiments of the religion with which the private school is affiliated regarding political and societal issues and trends. As I say that, I’m reminded of an event that happened a few years ago that is, I think, a good illustration of the point of view that I just articulated.

The woman, Melissa Williams, who starred in the film, Brokeback Mountain, was not allowed to return to Santa Fe Christian School in San Diego County to talk with students about her career as an actress even though she had graduated from that school. School officials felt that that Brokeback Mountain looked too favorably upon homosexuality. At the time, I did not agree with the decision of Santa Fe Christian officials made, but because of the rights, outlined in the first amendment of the Constitution, especially the right to freedom of religion, I felt that they had the right to do what they did.

In a public school, on the other hand, I feel teachers have to walk a fine line and be careful about conveying their sentiments on societal and political trends. A gay teacher måy be totally opposed to California voters passing Proposition 8, which, when passed a few years ago, did not allow gay marriages to be recognized as valid in California. Thus, it would probably be best for a gay teacher to allow students to debate the pros and cons of California recognizing gay marriages, but that teacher should probably refrain from telling his or her students how strongly he or she feels about the issue.

In US classrooms students are often engaged in free wheeling discussions on important societal and political trends. I don’t think that’s the case in classrooms in Asian countries, such as Japan and China. Furthermore, some politicians consider the Chinese and Japanese systems for educating children superior to the American approach. I would argue that open discussion of controversial topics in American classrooms is democracy in action and a cogent reason for the enduring enterprising and inventive spirit that so many American students possess.

John W. Tierney, Ph.D.

Educational Consultant

Tierney Learning Concepts

www.tlctestprep.com

Tel: 858-454-0089